The Tension and the Terror

Frank and I spent the day yesterday at Rachel's and she was kind enough to feed us and take me grocery shopping (many thanks again!). Today I have spent the majority of my time packing (there is visible progress now) and watching a CSI marathon on SpikeTV. But I figured rather than boring you with the mundane details of my day, I would instead share with you a story that took place a few years ago...


Spring Break, my junior year of college. I was at my parents' house for a few days before travelling on to Chicago. I'd been milking it for all it's worth, staying out late with friends still in the area, and sleeping in until the early afternoon.

On this particular weekday, I had woken up on the early side (10:00...c'mon, that IS early for spring break!). My parents were both at work, and my youngest brother Spenser was in class at Trenton High, a few blocks away. (For those who are wondering, Frank was still in Illinois, as our colleges' breaks didn't coincide.) Around 11:30 I decided to take a shower, and dutifully locked all the doors. I don't like feeling vulnerable while I'm naked. I had just locked the front door when I heard someone outside the house. I debated for a moment on checking, then decided whoever it was could come back later. Probably just UPS anyway.

Then the backdoor received a vicious pounding. Definitely not 'UPS! I need a signature!' Nope, this sounded ANGRY. More of the 'OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW OR I'LL @%&#ING KILL YOU!' variety. I froze. I considered calling out to find out who it was, but I was too terrified.
I waited in the hallway, breathless, and then things were silent. I tried to shake it off and got ready for the shower. (Side note: Whenever I am really scared I pretend my niece is with me and so I have to act brave so she won't know how frightened I am. Also, I sing songs from her favourite TV shows.) I was safely in the shower, but only a few lines into Dora the Explorer's 'We Did It!' song when to my horror there was that same angry knocking on the bathroom window, right next to me. The window is made of those thick glass blocks that distort everything (obviously so no one can see in), but this also meant I couldn't see out. I only knew that there was an extremely pissed-off stranger in my backyard, and that I was home alone, and naked.

So I did what any self-respecting girl would do. I called my daddy.

I wrapeed my hair in a bright orange towel (my parents are inordinately fond of colourful towels, bless them) and threw on my dad's blue fleece robe with a Superman logo on the back. My dad asked if I wanted him to call the police. I said I wasn't sure. Then came the loudest banging yet, on the dining room window. I wanted to be brave, to scream 'GO AWAY!' but my voice died in my throat. In tears I told my dad to call the police. I remained in the hallway (far removed from doors and windows), cowering, terrified while hating myself for it. After a few minutes' time, I crept to the front window to peek through the blinds and saw a squad car pulling in front of my house, to my immense relief. As I eased open the front door and stepped halfway onto the porch, the officer began walking up the driveway, talking to the person who was hidden from my sight around the corner of the house. 'Excuse me, what's going on here?' the officer asked.

'My sister locked me out of the house, and I can't get in,' said a very familiar voice.
I immediately stuck my head around the corner and saw an extremely sheepish-looking Spenser. I was so relieved he wasn't a burglar I didn't know whether to cry or laugh. The policeman went on his way (and probably had a good laugh at my expense. You're welcome.) Apparently Spenser had walked the two blocks home during his lunch period to grab some money to get food from the Little Caesar's that was next to the school. Of course, all he would have had to do is call my name, or announce himself, or say just about ANYthing and I would have recognized his voice. Though by that same token, if I had asked 'Who is it?' then this whole mess could have been avoided.

Then again, if I had done that, I would have been at a loss for a story today....